Why Tramp Tantrums

A followup to a 2 week old post on the childhoods of Tramp and Hitler

Allow me to be perfectly clear about the psychology of Tramp and Hitler, as informed by the brilliant psychoanalysis of Swiss analyst Alice Miller, published in her 1983 book “For Your Own Good”. An abandoned/actively abused child, like Tramp and Hitler respectively, must not attack his/her abandoning parent or abusing parent, as the maintenance of that relationship at any cost is a price worth paying for the continued interest and protection afforded by even such an abandoning/abusing parent, in a potentially even more dangerous and life threatening world. This reaction has evolved from our ancestral lifeway when our little clan/band group lived a migratory Hunter-Gatherer lifeway in a predator rich natural environment, now almost entirely absent in the “modern” built world we currently inhabit.

However, and here’s the catch, we are, also, enraged by such abandonment/abuse and must find a way to contain any possible attack against such an ultimately lifesaving powerful adult figure. Better to just “suck-up” the fear and pain than to risk a fatal alternative of being alone and defenseless in a very dangerous situation, in a predator rich environment. We do not realize how dangerous the noise and chaos of the “modern” world is for a nearly helpless child of 2 or 3 years old, the ages of Tramp and Hitler respectively when they were abandoned or physically abused. So, the ancient ego defence mechanisms of “identification with the aggressor, denial, repression, splitting off, projection, and suppression” of the terror and pain are used in place of striking out at the offending parent.

Unfortunately for those who may come in contact with such children when grown to adulthood, the thinly veiled rage of the abandoned and/or physically abused child surfaces, must be split off and projected out onto the vulnerable other, when the opportunity arises, like the recent DEI tantrums of Tramp or the anti-semitic murderous obsession of Herr Hitler. Clearly, such children very often grow-up in the presence of the abandoning or abusing parent and, through the “identification with the aggressor” ego defence, literally internalize and thereby adopt the same behavior as they were subjected to. This can often be seen in the life histories of child sexual abuse perpetrators, who were similarly abused by a parent or parent figure. Thus, such abuse may often be seen through serial generations, “inter-generational” abuse. Again, this analysis is well described by Alice Miller in her brilliant book, “For Your Own Good”, which she saw in the “poisonous pedagogy” prevalent in German child rearing practices of the 19th century. “Spare the rod and spoil the child”.

In my own life, I grew-up with a father who was quietly seething with rage toward me, his son and only child. I lived in constant terror of him doing me great harm, if not just outright killing me. Thus, I now realize, at age 79, that he was treated this same way by his father, my paternal grandfather. My father’s mother died when my father was just 10 years old and his sister 6 years old, likely from the Spanish flu. My grandfather was a community grocer/butcher and worked long hours at his butcher shop some distance away, so could not look after these two small children. Thus, my father and aunt Lillian were placed in my great grandparent’s home, where they remained for an unknown period, but a lengthy time. At the same time, my no doubt lonely, hard working grandfather remarried and had a 3rd child, my beloved aunt Doris. It appears that my grandfather lavished what attention he had to give to his new family, at the expense of my father and aunt Lillian. I was never party to the details of this history from my father during his lifetime and only have been able to piece it together during my 42 year long career as a psychiatrist/physician, and in conversations with my one cousin, Sandee, and another cousin, Steve.

The childhood pain and utter loneliness of my father’s rejection, no doubt a projection of his childhood rejection, haunted me throughout my four marriages and alienation form my own four children. Without realizing it, I, too, had identified with the aggressor and unbeknownst to me became the same cold, unloving man my father had been to me. The pain, fear, and loneliness haunted me and drove me to find solace in alcohol, marijuana, and tranquilizers for 25 years of my adult life and very nearly destroyed me. Now, retired, making amends with my two cousins and living in a small Ohio town of my mother’s origins, 14 yrs. clean and sober, I can see the truth. My father’s horrible treatment of me was never my fault. I was the perfect, high achieving, hard working loving son I thought would finally win his love, but never could. 12 step meetings over 26 yrs. have provided the “protection and care” I never received in childhood or after from my parents, but my dedicated search for the truth behind my drinking and drugging, ironically, alienated me from most others in the 12-step meetings, who, I have come to see as not willing to be as totally honest with themselves, as I had to be to get rid of the lifelong CPTSD nightmares from childhood sexual abuse, which my narcissistic parents did not protect me from.

I have written extensively, if rarely read in my essays here on substack, of my psychoanalysis of Donald J. Trump and Adolph Hitler, and often been attacked by the readers for treating them with compassion, when their hateful, destructive actions have been so grievous to any observer, at least, any honest and mentally/emotionally healthy observer. Today, I am thrilled to be gifted with the ability to see myself with equal compassion. I credit much of my journey of self discovery to my 25,000+ psychiatry patients and several teachers and mentors, especially the amazing Carl Whitaker during my psychiatric training and after. I hope and pray that this little essay has been of value to those who take the time to read it, especially those of us who have been abandoned and abused. May God help us one and all to look upon eachother with compassion. Monster are grown, not born. Thank you for this opportunity in this very difficult period of life in America and the world.

Greeley Miklashek, MD, gmiklashek435@gmail.com